myTrevor.com

On a happier note, last night’s LAN party proved to be successful. Although having a headache at arrival and no relief until just after midnight was a little annoying, it was fun. It was nice to see everyone having a good time and fraging each other. A shout out to Anthony and all the LAN committee for their extremely hard work and long hours in the lab writing install scripts. Unfortunately that type of thing usually goes unnoticed, only recongized when problems occur. Welcome to the life of a network administrator

I’m in awe of some people’s abilities with a keyboard and mouse, damn they can react fast and kick the shit out of me. And never under estimate the ability of drunk guys playing games, they can still kick ass.

Oh, the caramel apple cider at Starbucks is so good. If you haven’t tried it, you really need to.

It’s funny how drama seems to come in bulk, but I never thought it would happen to a large group at once. It seems that a lot of people are going through some rough times emotionally right now; does that mean calm waters ahead?

It’s scary how we think we don’t change, but we do, and so do our friendships. How do you step back and really look at life and decide how to live it, or is that not the right way to live?

A few months ago I found myself at the fork in the road with a truly deep, intimate friendship. We realized we were having problems and needed some time apart. Normally you think that means it’s the end, that it is no longer. For the last three or four months I’ve sulked over that thought. It was both our faults, we know that, we know there was too much pressure on both sides to meet some hidden expectation that we held for each other’s friendship. But yesterday, after not seeing each other for those separated months, are we ready to give it another try? Did this small chance to find ourselves and reevaluate our needs and abilities to be there for the other person help?

I’m a forgive and move on, but pocket it in the back of my head and never forget type of guy. What Tom Champoux would call a “stabilizer.” I just want things to be okay for everyone and try to fix life. I sometimes forget that life isn’t fixable, not all problems can be duct taped together and forgotten. I found out a scary, embarassing thing about myself. I always thought I would be there for someone in need no matter what the case, through thick and thin, a “3 am friend.” What I found is that sometimes that’s not possible. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make everyone happy. There are only 24 hours in a day, you must decide where you need to distribute that time. I can’t be the three people that I was being molded to be.

Now I have a feeling of worry, here it comes, we must sit down and address the past six months of our lives and our friendship. We must now work through our differences and accept each other for what we our, not what we envision the other to be. Sounds simple, eh? It’s one thing to admit to your problems, your let downs, your failures — it’s another to discover ways to improve on those and methods of avoiding it in the future. Ugh, now I’m trying to make it so systematic. Well, the next couple weeks will be interesting. We’ll see how this next attempt will play out.