A new week begins… some ramblings
It’s funny how drama seems to come in bulk, but I never thought it would happen to a large group at once. It seems that a lot of people are going through some rough times emotionally right now; does that mean calm waters ahead?
It’s scary how we think we don’t change, but we do, and so do our friendships. How do you step back and really look at life and decide how to live it, or is that not the right way to live?
A few months ago I found myself at the fork in the road with a truly deep, intimate friendship. We realized we were having problems and needed some time apart. Normally you think that means it’s the end, that it is no longer. For the last three or four months I’ve sulked over that thought. It was both our faults, we know that, we know there was too much pressure on both sides to meet some hidden expectation that we held for each other’s friendship. But yesterday, after not seeing each other for those separated months, are we ready to give it another try? Did this small chance to find ourselves and reevaluate our needs and abilities to be there for the other person help?
I’m a forgive and move on, but pocket it in the back of my head and never forget type of guy. What Tom Champoux would call a “stabilizer.” I just want things to be okay for everyone and try to fix life. I sometimes forget that life isn’t fixable, not all problems can be duct taped together and forgotten. I found out a scary, embarassing thing about myself. I always thought I would be there for someone in need no matter what the case, through thick and thin, a “3 am friend.” What I found is that sometimes that’s not possible. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make everyone happy. There are only 24 hours in a day, you must decide where you need to distribute that time. I can’t be the three people that I was being molded to be.
Now I have a feeling of worry, here it comes, we must sit down and address the past six months of our lives and our friendship. We must now work through our differences and accept each other for what we our, not what we envision the other to be. Sounds simple, eh? It’s one thing to admit to your problems, your let downs, your failures — it’s another to discover ways to improve on those and methods of avoiding it in the future. Ugh, now I’m trying to make it so systematic. Well, the next couple weeks will be interesting. We’ll see how this next attempt will play out.
4 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Been down that road many a time myself. It will get better, but it just takes communication and time. Best of fortunes.
Things have been interesting the past few weeks haven’t they? Good luck with all of those things that have been troubling you. Sometimes it can be so easy to find the faults in others and so difficult to find the faults within yourself. I commend you on your efforts to improve yourself and your relationship with this other person.
Way to nail it, Trevor. And yeah, I’m similiar in that I think of myself as that “3am friend” too (nice job with the name choice). It’s for that very reason I still leave my cell phone on when I sleep at night with the ringer loud enough to wake me. Been trying to accept the notion that I cannot be “that person” for everyone.
And yes, drama in bulk.
Oh Drama.
I don’t think that any of us are personal fans of drama. The worst part of it usualy is how simple it is to fix. Communication like CA said. It amazes me how simple a complex problem can become when you talk about it. I am guilty of this myself and I have to be able to open all channels of commuhat exactly you are refering to when you say I was right, but I’m usually right on just about everything, so I’ll believe you. lol. We should go out and do something this weekend since we didn’t go out during the week really.