Is Chivalry P.C.?
This morning as I was riding to school, I witnessed it again. Again crowded, as many times it is when catching the 8:30, “I’m late for class,” (as I like to call it) bus. With seats disappearing quickly at each stop, it was not too soon that all seats were completely filled. And then, a peppy girl between 18 and 20 walks on the bus. Most who were looking would think it was a gentlemanly thing to do. A man in his late fifties stands up and offers her his seat. She looks at him in confusion and he gestures again for her to take the seat and she thanks him and sits down.
I understand being polite to people and I understand giving up your seat for someone who needs it more than you. I’ve moved or stood for pregnant women, or someone with three kids held by the arm or someone that is very elderly – it’s just the polite thing to do. I guess what I have problems with is this continued archaic treatment of women as fragile beings or those that should be treated on a pedestal. I think most feminists would agree that this type of action can be somewhat offensive. Clearly in this situation, there were young men standing around without seats – what made “her” different from this?
If this is acceptable, should it be recommended? Is it a gender thing? Is it a sexual attraction thing? Should women offer to give up their seat to men? Should a gay man give up a seat to another man? Is being chivalrous still appropriate in the 21st century or is it a thing that should stay in the past?
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Trevor, you bring up an interesting topic. On one hand you want to be polite and respectful of those around you, and on the other hand you don’t want to accidently offend someone. I suppose all you can do is have the best intensions in mind and take it from there.
Being the thoroughly modern 21st century male that I am, I see nothing wrong with offering your seat to someone who is elderly, infirm, disabled or clearly overburdened. What I do see a problem with is any woman insisting that I adhere to ancient chivelrous codes – which were clearly designed to paint women as subordinate beings – and still accept equal interaction. Sorry, but if you want the “benefits” of such behavior, be ready to accept the attendant attitudes of such. Most modern feminists would agree with this assesment, I think, and would want to see the behavor itself worked out of our society.
Along those lines, I wonder what would the reaction have been had the woman not been a shapely 20 year old, but rather a frumpy 40 year old , or a not-so-peppy 30 year old?
Like Kevin said, this is a good topic. I mean, women are constantly fighting for equal rights in all aspects of life, but there are some things that they are not willing to give up I guess. I see this all as a trade off. It sounds kind of harsh, I know. But I won’t give up my seat for a woman unless I think she is really in need, like CA pointed out above. Other than that, if you want to be like me, stand with me.
However, in your case I think it is just a difference in values. A 50 y/o man has much different values than you and I.
I suppose we could just offer them a seat on our laps… then everyone could sit down.
heh, i just pretend i’m asleep on the bus and nobody gets a seat offered by me. muahahahahaha
Ryan does have a good point about the difference in values between generations – I would have thought that someone not even 15 years older than myself would have been fully cognizant of the feminism of the last forty years – but then again, even my father, who’s 19 years older than I am – still displays a few chauvanistic tendancies every now and then. It might just be one of those things that you have to take on a case-by-case basis, regarding people and thier attitudes.