I think I realize why people talk to counselors or psychologists. I’m sitting here tonight, actually quite content and happy, but thinking about the things I’ve been thinking about the last few weeks. It’s confusing when you feel emotions and you want to just scream out everything, but realize you can’t or else you’ll do irreversible damage. It’s also difficult when those people in your life that you always go to share your deepest thoughts are not there for you any longer for various reasons.

I love that the other day I was presenting in front of the class with my chipper presence on and later I get the comment that someone thought I was back to my good ole self again. I wonder when that will be. I’ve been in the lull for about a month now and I’m just wondering when I’ll snap out of it. I’m glad it’s not taking over my life or anything, but it’s just those damn moments when you feel it and you stop and just feel so dissatisfied with life.

Maybe it’s the time. Maybe it’s a sign that I need a next move in my life – maybe college does need to be over soon and I need to step into that next journey of my life, whatever it may be. The strangest thing is trying to figure out what is causing this feeling – it’s not like I can pin point it to one thing or another.

It’s weird how I can be happy and sad at the same time. It definitely throws me a curve for an answer when people ask how you are doing. Okay, time to work on capstone. –Damn it, why do all my posts have to be all depressing? I am really a happy person… I am, I am!–